But if part of you still wants to be the first person on someone else’s mind, things can go left quickly.For single women, the trepidation isn’t just about sorting through men on dating apps: there’s the question of what happens in the long term, and whether navigating someone else’s existing relationship is even worth it if you don’t have one yourself to fall back on? “Like I’m gonna meet someone and they’re gonna be like, ‘Oh I don’t eat pussy because my wife won’t let me.’ What?And apparently, I wasn’t the only single woman starting to feel a little fed up.
I’ve been pretty consistently saying since I was 15 that I don’t want to get married or have kids.
Now, you can do those things and be poly, but if you don’t want to do those things, I think being poly is a better fit than being monogamous.
“I’ve never gone on a date with one of those people. You see a cute profile and read the bio, and then BAM.
‘I am so in love with my girlfriend.’ Fuck you, dude,” Elena, 29, told me. They’re already in relationships there to drain our already small well.” Although many of the women I spoke with were open to non-monogamy in theory, the value proposition of dating a coupled man without an existing primary partner of their own felt uncompelling.
” It’s not that she’s particularly invested in monogamy as a concept, but the potential power dynamic — of being a single woman with a boyfriend who already has a partner — seems untenable.
These frustrations aren’t new, of course; they’re just presenting themselves to a group of people who were largely able to avoid them in the past: women looking to date men.Not that you be perfectly open in monogamous relationships, but I think you have to try harder.” For her, polyamory with non-primary partners has been a huge boon to her personal happiness.“Poly just makes so much sense for me, I’m kind of angry it took me this long to figure it out.And while the changing natures of marriage and monogamy are interesting (and Zeitgeist-y), the proliferation of open relationships requires the participation of a group whose stake in the issue has gone largely unexamined: single people, and especially single women, whose place in society has changed most rapidly of anyone during the current generation.It’s easy to feel like everyone’s poly now, but does anyone want to date them?When I inquired with Jack, a single, gay 26-year-old, he confirmed that those exact competing interests are often points of contention in gay dating.